sent to jeremy today

God has really been speaking to me through you lately.
it's kind of freaking me out but at the same time it's awesome because i KNOW that it's god.
i mean last week i wasn't even going to show up cuz i heard i wasn't playing. i thought i'd take a week off or whatev. i ended up going cuz i had to be at the church for some july 3rd video and figured i'd stop by.
your sermon Then called right out to me! but then, like i said, i made a decision. there wasn't really a stirring in my heart, but i knew what was right and what was wrong and what God said i needed to do. but even after that, i've been staying up all night just freaking out and getting lost in my problems a lot. but even through that, i've been reading my word a lot more. and the pastor's sermon really called out to me today.
from the death of mother to the lust issues/ Even the cursing and occasional cigs. all of that was really in my heart and i felt god telling me this isn't what he called me for.
i still feel him telling me what he wants me to be. he wants me to be some sort of pastor and speak his word, but i feel like i really haven't been living like he wants me to live. and when i was praying at that altar by myself, i really just cried out to him and asked for forgiveness and comfort and guidance. i really just want to be want he wants me to be. and when you came over and basically prayed everything that i cried out to god for him to do word for word, i knew he was really speaking to me.
and i saw you talking to other people so i didn't really go into detail about all this then, but when i said thank you, i really meant it.
thank you so much.