ok so maybe it's timing or my fault or some other BS reason
but it seems that whenever me and my girl are together and hanging around her friends,
she's not only distant and cold, she's mean. she totally treats me like crap. and i'm supposed to be ok about it once we talk/argue and she apologizes. EVERY TIME.
like it's becoming difficult to draw the line. she doesn't usually act like that in private, and i don't wanna be the dude who straight up calls her out and sets the record straight in public in front of her friends... cuz that'd be dick.
right?
idk.
it's just really bugging me to the point to where i actually have to write something like this. to where i actually have to tell people, "hey. i have a problem with crystal." and it didn't used to be like that, but lately i just feel unimportant and unappreciated when it comes to her.
so what do i do?
i'm usually the one answering questions like this, but i guess i'm asking this time.
help ya boy out!
Friday, October 31, 2008
more stuff
Viva la Hova (Jay-Z Coldplay Mash-up)
http://www.sendspace.com/file/8tkhtd
XV
(40 DAYS) http://www.sendspace.com/file/wuo3g3
(40 NIGHTS) http://www.sendspace.com/file/v7nrzw
http://www.sendspace.com/file/8tkhtd
XV
(40 DAYS) http://www.sendspace.com/file/wuo3g3
(40 NIGHTS) http://www.sendspace.com/file/v7nrzw
Thursday, October 30, 2008
Facebook Rant
#1, if i constantly bring someone to church with me and have been for the past 10 months and people that greet me constantly haven't had the courtesy to greet that person, then something's wrong. right?
well one person told me that that's because the people in mt. paran have grown up here and branch themselves off in cliques. well that just shouldn't be the case. not in a church.
we're the ones who are supposed to bring the lost souls to church. If we can't even talk to each other, then how are we supposed to minister in school? how are we supposed to minister in our daily lives?which brings me to the second thing that bothers me: why do some of us feel awkward and ashamed to talk about God AMONG CHRISTIANS? shouldn't that be the most natural thing to do?
I'm guilty of it. i can't lie. there are people that go to this church that i really don't know whether they are saved or whether they even believe in God simply because i feel awkward talking about God around them. but i know i'm not the only one. i know it shouldn't be that way, but what are we supposed to do. get right with ourselves? ok well that's fine and good, but the thing is that we never do. we get in this comfort zone at church and just maintain a routine.
i'm at a place in my walk with God where i know that i want more of him, and he wants more of me. and in that wanting, i know i'm going to end up having to do some uncomfortable things, but i'm ok with that. i've really become ok with that.
but i feel like everyone needs to be ok with that.the basic problem i guess i'm getting at is NO ONE WANTS TO BE UNCOMFORTABLE.that's really starting to bother me. they say that a change is going to come within the youth. i feel that and i understand that, but we really have to get in a place to where we wanna get uncomfortable and undignified for God. and i don't just mean youth, i mean big church as well. because if the change comes in youth and the adults don't accept it, than it will all be for naught. the change can't just be youth. it has to branch off into everything.
it has to influence big church. so then we can provide a change and a movement that would glorify god to the fullest as an entire body of mt. paran north.
but we really have to talk with God and get rght with God and decide, "hey God, i'm willing to do whatever you want of me. i really don't care what other people think. i don't care about comfort zones. I'm willing to break free of all those things in order to bring more souls and more glory to your kingdom."that's what we have to do.Recently i've been reading deuteronomy (i said hey, there's this book in the bible deuteronomy that i know absolutely nothing about. maybe i should read it. lol) and in it there's the story about how moses led the folks out of egypt and everybody's all feeling great and got that buzz from God that you get when you know he's moving and everybody's doing good until they get to where they have to claim their land.and THEN, don't nobody wanna go. they don't wanna trust God and do something seemingly crazy. the Jews were saying, "These folks gon beat us DOWN. God must be crazy tryin ta send us in there. he must not like us or something" but moses is all like, "isn't this the God who parted the RED SEA? c'mon now! you think he can't handle that?" but nobody was willing to be uncomfortable. so what happened?
WHOOSH
there went that blessing. they had to wait til the next generation was there to take a hold of it.i use that story to say this: i know that everybody from middle school camp and high school camp are just feeling (or have felt) the presence of God in Mt. paran youth. like hardcore.
wel it's not a joke people. we have to take hold of this and do something with it or else
WHOOSH
it's gone be gon before you know itso like i said, be prepared to be uncomfortable for God. now in this i don't mean EVERYONE. but i mean some people. maybe even most people.
well one person told me that that's because the people in mt. paran have grown up here and branch themselves off in cliques. well that just shouldn't be the case. not in a church.
we're the ones who are supposed to bring the lost souls to church. If we can't even talk to each other, then how are we supposed to minister in school? how are we supposed to minister in our daily lives?which brings me to the second thing that bothers me: why do some of us feel awkward and ashamed to talk about God AMONG CHRISTIANS? shouldn't that be the most natural thing to do?
I'm guilty of it. i can't lie. there are people that go to this church that i really don't know whether they are saved or whether they even believe in God simply because i feel awkward talking about God around them. but i know i'm not the only one. i know it shouldn't be that way, but what are we supposed to do. get right with ourselves? ok well that's fine and good, but the thing is that we never do. we get in this comfort zone at church and just maintain a routine.
i'm at a place in my walk with God where i know that i want more of him, and he wants more of me. and in that wanting, i know i'm going to end up having to do some uncomfortable things, but i'm ok with that. i've really become ok with that.
but i feel like everyone needs to be ok with that.the basic problem i guess i'm getting at is NO ONE WANTS TO BE UNCOMFORTABLE.that's really starting to bother me. they say that a change is going to come within the youth. i feel that and i understand that, but we really have to get in a place to where we wanna get uncomfortable and undignified for God. and i don't just mean youth, i mean big church as well. because if the change comes in youth and the adults don't accept it, than it will all be for naught. the change can't just be youth. it has to branch off into everything.
it has to influence big church. so then we can provide a change and a movement that would glorify god to the fullest as an entire body of mt. paran north.
but we really have to talk with God and get rght with God and decide, "hey God, i'm willing to do whatever you want of me. i really don't care what other people think. i don't care about comfort zones. I'm willing to break free of all those things in order to bring more souls and more glory to your kingdom."that's what we have to do.Recently i've been reading deuteronomy (i said hey, there's this book in the bible deuteronomy that i know absolutely nothing about. maybe i should read it. lol) and in it there's the story about how moses led the folks out of egypt and everybody's all feeling great and got that buzz from God that you get when you know he's moving and everybody's doing good until they get to where they have to claim their land.and THEN, don't nobody wanna go. they don't wanna trust God and do something seemingly crazy. the Jews were saying, "These folks gon beat us DOWN. God must be crazy tryin ta send us in there. he must not like us or something" but moses is all like, "isn't this the God who parted the RED SEA? c'mon now! you think he can't handle that?" but nobody was willing to be uncomfortable. so what happened?
WHOOSH
there went that blessing. they had to wait til the next generation was there to take a hold of it.i use that story to say this: i know that everybody from middle school camp and high school camp are just feeling (or have felt) the presence of God in Mt. paran youth. like hardcore.
wel it's not a joke people. we have to take hold of this and do something with it or else
WHOOSH
it's gone be gon before you know itso like i said, be prepared to be uncomfortable for God. now in this i don't mean EVERYONE. but i mean some people. maybe even most people.
T-Pain ft. DJ Khaled - KARAOKE!!!http://limelinx.com//media/ffc0338b267c447f87908fa67001b5de.aspx
Usher ft. Barack Obama - Hush
http://limelinx.com//media/ff1dbb0f2c194baa9f784d220078925c.aspx
Kanye West - Heartless!
http://limelinx.com//media/de2aeab00cbe418fa3be9b471635d03e.aspx
Ludacris - I Do It For Hip-Hop!!
http://limelinx.com//media/17d451b4cea24d7982cefac1b95b39a5.aspx
Usher ft. Barack Obama - Hush
http://limelinx.com//media/ff1dbb0f2c194baa9f784d220078925c.aspx
Kanye West - Heartless!
http://limelinx.com//media/de2aeab00cbe418fa3be9b471635d03e.aspx
Ludacris - I Do It For Hip-Hop!!
http://limelinx.com//media/17d451b4cea24d7982cefac1b95b39a5.aspx
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
UPDATE
it's been a whole year and i couldn't be happier it's gotten this far.
Currently fasting in order to get closer to GOD.
playing a ton of megaman
loving college
loving playing on wednesdays
pissed about the no car deal
basically my life right now. :)
gonna start posting music links and the such on here
Currently fasting in order to get closer to GOD.
playing a ton of megaman
loving college
loving playing on wednesdays
pissed about the no car deal
basically my life right now. :)
gonna start posting music links and the such on here
Thursday, September 11, 2008
TALK IS CHEAP
so what do i plan to do about it?
i think i might wanna perhaps start a bible study at my house a day of the week where people might be free. But i don't wanna take out of their freetime.
maybe that could encourage lost people to come to it.
like for example, what lost person is going to wanna come to a bible study on a friday night when they could go get hammered?
but i don't really know who to tell or what to talk about when it happens or whether to do an acoustic praise and worship set or anything.
so i'm gonna pray about it.
but if i do it, it's gonna be called "LOVE BOMB."
yea.
i think i might wanna perhaps start a bible study at my house a day of the week where people might be free. But i don't wanna take out of their freetime.
maybe that could encourage lost people to come to it.
like for example, what lost person is going to wanna come to a bible study on a friday night when they could go get hammered?
but i don't really know who to tell or what to talk about when it happens or whether to do an acoustic praise and worship set or anything.
so i'm gonna pray about it.
but if i do it, it's gonna be called "LOVE BOMB."
yea.
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