Through the rain girl
I found Jesus
I found you and
I know nothing can take your place girl
Your red lipstick
And i'm just afraid
Cause this is the first time
That i'm not loving you
And i'm not loving you
I got married to the idea
To the notion
That youd always be here with me girl
Like my shadow
And I wish I was there
Just to run my hands through your hair
And i'm just afraid
Cuz this is the first time
That i'm not loving you
And i'm not loving you
Girl you know i'm always thinking of you
Haven't seen the summer since I saw you
Baby don't worry 'bout us
I feel your love
I feel you inside
And I wish I was there
Just to run my hands through your hair
And i'm just afraid
Cause this is the first time
That i'm not loving you
And i'm not loving you
Girl i'm not loving
And i'm not loving you
Girl you know i'm always thinking of you
Haven't seen the summer since I saw you
Baby don't worry bout us
I feel your love
I feel you inside baby
Girl i'm not loving you
You...
of course it isn't that way now. but that moment, this was me.
wow.
thank you Robin Thicke.
Wednesday, September 10, 2008
Tuesday, September 2, 2008
my testimony as of now...?
ok so i have to talk tomorrow so this is more of a brainstorming than a real blog...
ok so where was i when cleansing stream first started...?
well i had just gotten saved at camp. like i was already saved, but this was when god really told me what he wanted me to do and i really decided to dedicate my life to him. ya know?
and what's probably bad is that i was living a way i really shouldn't have before then, but i still claimed that i was saved and still played on wed nights and sundays sometimes too.
but i guess that just goes to show how god can STILL use a broken vessel.
but back to the story -
i had just gotten saved, my manager GF broke up with me like the day after i got back home, so i'm still tripping out emotionally and don't really know what to do.
i knew what God wanted me to do, but i just didn't know how or where to even start ANYTHING.
and i remember i happened to show up to church early one sunday morning and ran into renee and she asked me to join cleansing stream.
i'm thinkin to myself...man i dunno. do i gotta pay anything? cuz i'm broke! i can't be doin all o that now. lol
BUT she said don't let payment be the issue, so she handled it all for me. which i still thank her for to this day. :)
but yea, i remember just goin in the first day and enjoying the laid back and intimate atmosphere. there are a couple days where we had to watch videos and we had to do homework i guess you'd call it out of this workbook, but all of these things got me into the habit of constantly exposing myself to the word.
and when you are constantly exposed to the word, something changes inside you. you start to hear the voice of the holy spirit more often and much clearer.
and the whole mission behind cleansing stream is to walk in alignment with God. and the way they have it set up, it's both an easy and powerful experience.
and i remember for me, i always thought before cleansing stream, "ok. yea i love God and all of that, but how do i even go about doing the right thing all the time? i can't. i have to many problems and vices and issues to just stop."
but the only thing i was really complaining about was that i didn't know HOW to go about doing all of this changing. and cleansing stream really helped. it showed me how i'm supposed to go about studying his word and changing the condition of my heart.
now don't get me wrong, i'm not saying i'm this perfect person and i don't do things wrong anymore. because i still struggle with certain things in my life. but now, it's like i can come at them with a confidence i didn't have before. like i'm closer than i've ever been to where i feel i need to be. God's really been watching out for me and taking care of me and showing me things and putting me places where i can really be of use and surrounding me with people who are good to me and care about me. and i'm thankful. but in order to get somewhere, there are always steps.
so i encourage you all to just try it out. it's really meaningful and helpful. it helped me a ton. so yea.
that's it. that's me.
well i guess i'll just say al of that. that won't be too bad.
ok so where was i when cleansing stream first started...?
well i had just gotten saved at camp. like i was already saved, but this was when god really told me what he wanted me to do and i really decided to dedicate my life to him. ya know?
and what's probably bad is that i was living a way i really shouldn't have before then, but i still claimed that i was saved and still played on wed nights and sundays sometimes too.
but i guess that just goes to show how god can STILL use a broken vessel.
but back to the story -
i had just gotten saved, my manager GF broke up with me like the day after i got back home, so i'm still tripping out emotionally and don't really know what to do.
i knew what God wanted me to do, but i just didn't know how or where to even start ANYTHING.
and i remember i happened to show up to church early one sunday morning and ran into renee and she asked me to join cleansing stream.
i'm thinkin to myself...man i dunno. do i gotta pay anything? cuz i'm broke! i can't be doin all o that now. lol
BUT she said don't let payment be the issue, so she handled it all for me. which i still thank her for to this day. :)
but yea, i remember just goin in the first day and enjoying the laid back and intimate atmosphere. there are a couple days where we had to watch videos and we had to do homework i guess you'd call it out of this workbook, but all of these things got me into the habit of constantly exposing myself to the word.
and when you are constantly exposed to the word, something changes inside you. you start to hear the voice of the holy spirit more often and much clearer.
and the whole mission behind cleansing stream is to walk in alignment with God. and the way they have it set up, it's both an easy and powerful experience.
and i remember for me, i always thought before cleansing stream, "ok. yea i love God and all of that, but how do i even go about doing the right thing all the time? i can't. i have to many problems and vices and issues to just stop."
but the only thing i was really complaining about was that i didn't know HOW to go about doing all of this changing. and cleansing stream really helped. it showed me how i'm supposed to go about studying his word and changing the condition of my heart.
now don't get me wrong, i'm not saying i'm this perfect person and i don't do things wrong anymore. because i still struggle with certain things in my life. but now, it's like i can come at them with a confidence i didn't have before. like i'm closer than i've ever been to where i feel i need to be. God's really been watching out for me and taking care of me and showing me things and putting me places where i can really be of use and surrounding me with people who are good to me and care about me. and i'm thankful. but in order to get somewhere, there are always steps.
so i encourage you all to just try it out. it's really meaningful and helpful. it helped me a ton. so yea.
that's it. that's me.
well i guess i'll just say al of that. that won't be too bad.
Saturday, August 30, 2008
i'm falling
backwards in my walk.
dammit.
One republic was AWESOMMMMM
john mayer was AWESUUUMMMMMMMM
both were just amazing
one of the single greatest nights of my life.
glad i got to share it with crystal popham/hughes.
dammit.
One republic was AWESOMMMMM
john mayer was AWESUUUMMMMMMMM
both were just amazing
one of the single greatest nights of my life.
glad i got to share it with crystal popham/hughes.
Sunday, August 17, 2008
timing
i'm stressed out. i don't even know if this is an important issue, but it's like half of me wants to leave everything behind and start fresh and the other half of me doesn't want to risk losing the great things i already have in my life.
so i think i just wanna take a break from everyone and everything i'm a part of pretty soon just to see what things i miss and what i find important to me and what's worth keeping and what's worth losing...
it's just...
a lot of new things are happening to me and there's not enough room in my life to keep up with everything, you know? i wish all these things could've happened earlier or at a more convenient time. it's like i'm being bombarded with stress from school and church and love and family and friends and music and my own ambitions.
i remember when i was in high school, i didn't give an S about half the stuff i care about now, but now that i've really started to get serious with God like HARDcore, problems and conflicts with my own inner self and being have just been popping up.
i'm fighting against myself. literally.
so as a result of this, i'm gonna take some time to myself. i'm gonna be a recluse, if you will.
maybe it's selfish of me. i don't know. all i know is i have to do it if i'm gonna be the person i'd like to be. i have to take some time to focus and decide what's important and what's not. not like i haven't said that 5 times already, but just know if i end up shutting anybody out for the next little while, it has nothing to do with you. and that's about it.
pray for me.
so i think i just wanna take a break from everyone and everything i'm a part of pretty soon just to see what things i miss and what i find important to me and what's worth keeping and what's worth losing...
it's just...
a lot of new things are happening to me and there's not enough room in my life to keep up with everything, you know? i wish all these things could've happened earlier or at a more convenient time. it's like i'm being bombarded with stress from school and church and love and family and friends and music and my own ambitions.
i remember when i was in high school, i didn't give an S about half the stuff i care about now, but now that i've really started to get serious with God like HARDcore, problems and conflicts with my own inner self and being have just been popping up.
i'm fighting against myself. literally.
so as a result of this, i'm gonna take some time to myself. i'm gonna be a recluse, if you will.
maybe it's selfish of me. i don't know. all i know is i have to do it if i'm gonna be the person i'd like to be. i have to take some time to focus and decide what's important and what's not. not like i haven't said that 5 times already, but just know if i end up shutting anybody out for the next little while, it has nothing to do with you. and that's about it.
pray for me.
Sunday, August 10, 2008
Keep GOD 1st
"Keep God 1st. Man, cuz God is amazing. God is.. Amazing. If you don't believe in God, whatever it is that you DO believe in... You believe in the universe at least. That's OK. You ain't gotta call it God. I'll do it for you."- Pharrell Williams
:)
college situation is going swell.
looking forward to J. Mayer, N.E.R.D, and COMMON
:)
college situation is going swell.
looking forward to J. Mayer, N.E.R.D, and COMMON
Saturday, August 2, 2008
i hate how
the only people i can depend on to do something when i need it done are ME and GOD.
that's it.
hopefully going to college soon.
that's it.
hopefully going to college soon.
Friday, August 1, 2008
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